Dane's Deployment Day 1

This last week has been a ball of emotions for me. I went through some extreme highs and extreme lows, only to find out all the other women were experiencing the same things.

Dane left for his deployment to Afghanistan today. He won't be over seas for 3 more weeks, but I won't see him for 7 months. Right now he is at a base in Texas, training to prepare for the "desert". It's kind of frustrating that he has to go to CST (what the training is called). This is his 4th deployment and has to take that training every time. It doesn't seem logical that he has only been home for 11 months and they are sending him to training every time. Waste of tax dollars if you ask me.

Well anyways, last night after I got off work at 8pm, I went straight to Dane's house to spend the last few hours with him before having to wake up at 330am. The evening was spent with lots of tears, snuggling and reassuring words. I am not sure what time I fell asleep but I will never forget one of the last things he said to me last night, "I'm missing you already". Dane isn't a very words type of guy, so when he says something like this I know that he means it and it means that much more to me.

This morning I woke up about 430 am and was ready to leave by 5am. I hadn't cried yet and didn't start until we started driving to the base. Once at we got there I was pretty distracted with all the friends and what not to be sad. My eyes teared up every once and a while but I was doing pretty good. Every time I thought they were about to leave I would get this terrible feeling in my gut, like I needed to vomit. When it finally came time, 3 hours later, I lost it. I buried by face in his chest and cried as he kissed my head. They began roll call and I didn't move from my burrow in his chest. "Kolter" was called and that was it. One final short kiss and he was gone. I stood there for a minute while the rest of the names were called. I am not sure why I did that but I did and then walked to Dane's truck and drove it to his house. Of course I cried the whole way home and Dane knows me too well because he sent me a text saying "Just breathe". It helped a little but it was too late, I was already sad and lonely.

I miss Dane already. He has only been gone for 11 hours and I am miserable. I know things will get better with time and I will get "used" to it but for now I am aching. I am going to try and keep this as updated as last time. I really enjoyed going back and reading how I felt the last time he left. I know that sounds weird but I did. I am so thankful as well that I have so many supportive people in my life. I definitely wouldn't make it through this without you. For now....my plan is to stay in bed. I am not up for doing anything at all. 219 days and counting.....