Writers Block

I never know what to write on here. I guess its not only with my blogging but what to write to my dad or write to Dane. I can think lately. I don't know whats wrong with my brain. Life has been good to me lately. I hit a bump with Ashlynn's dad and child support but we worked it out. Work is going fine, been here 2 yrs in July! Dane is good, got a call from him the other morning. It's nice to be able to talk to him when I haven't been drinking and can actually remember the conversations. 17 weeks from Monday until he is home! Yay! The closer it gets the more nervous I get. Silly right? I guess I am just nervous that he is going to come home and change his mind about me. I am getting fat again while he is getting skinny ugh. I can't seem to get motivated either. Infact I can't get motivated for ANYTHING. My house is a mess and I have been super lazy lately. I need to step it up! Let's see.... My little brother is a mess. I don't know how to help him and it makes me very upset. I wish I had the money to go visit him. I know he is upset with this whole Dad being in prision thing. The sad reality is, Im used to being dissapointed in my father so it doesnt affect me the same as Caden. I feel so bad for him, it makes my heart hurt. I am also hearing about another family member slipping into drug use. Makes me want to shake her. She is a beautiful, once successful woman and hit a bump in the road and turned to drugs. If I truned to drugs everytime something happend to me I would be just like my father. I wish I could save her, I hate not being able to help people. There is nothing I can do for her though, she needs to want to be clean for herself and her son. I have a pretty amazing family though, and they have already dove right into her issue and are helping the best they can. I have been to the point where you feel like you are always sad and I feel for her. Well.... thats it for now.