Although being a mother is amazing and I wouldn't trade it in for the world, there are times that I am left in my room sobbing. Last night was one of these nights. It is embarrassing to say that a 2 year old can hurt my feelings but Ashlynn is my child and I am sensative to our relationship.
As it sometimes happens, living in a split household, Ashlynn wasn't having it being at "Mommy's" house last night. Every so ofter when I pick her up from school she is dissapointed by the fact that I am not her dad. Most of the time it only lasts a minute or two and we get to my house and everything is fine. Yesterday Ashlynn was really wanting to be with her dad and the tears remained for hours. I finally gave in and drove her to her dads work to spend an hour with him while I ran to Target. When I picked her back up she was extremely upset and proceeded to tell me she doesn't like Mommy and Mommy is mean. I dont know what I have done to be the mean parent but it hurts my heart to hear my child tell me she would rather be with her Dad. I am doing the best I can do to be a parent and it really digs deep when she tells me things like this. I know she is a toddler but its something I never want to hear from someone I love so much. What sucks even more is that I understand why she likes her dads more. When he is with her it's fun time vs. my house is time for dinner bath and bed time. ( He has her on his days off and I have her during the week.) I am glad Ashlynn has this relationship with her father but it's probably something I will never understand due to the lack of relationship I have had with my own father. The only thing I can give Ashlynn is love the way I know how to give her love and I will continue on giving her love until the day I die.
No comments:
Post a Comment