I'm having someone else's baby.

I'm having her baby! Well, hopefully that is. I got the official news today that the little tiny petri made embryo will be setting up shop, in my uterus of course, the second week of December. 

It's been kind of a rollercoaster thus far. Picking a family was no easy task. I spoke with a couple families and naturally wanted to do it for them all but the family I chose just fit. They sought me out and the intended mother is so sweet and is just aching to be a mother again. I'm sure you're all wondering who this mom is and what her story is but just trust me, the story is hers and not for me to tell (although I totally don't think she would care). So for now, she is mom and I'm her kangaroo or uterus babysitter, whichever you want to call me. 

Why am I doing this? Why am I putting my body through what I swore I would never do again? .....Is it weird that I have never asked myself these questions. I just felt like this was for me, like it was something I needed to do, a little bit for my family, a little bit more for the expecting family, but mostly for me. I think that's why I feel so uncomfortable when I hear how "proud" or how "amazing" I am. I'm not, really, seriously. This isn't completely selfless because if it was I wouldn't be doing it for me. I need to do this. I'm not sure why completely but I feel so strongly about it. Almost like its a growing experience for myself. 

Am I nervous? Totally. I ask myself daily if that's a normal feeling but heck I was nervous planning my own pregnancy. I get nervous making a latte choice at Starbucks so I've decided it's okay to be nervous. I'm most nervous about the birth because mom says that all the women in her family have BIG babies. Yikes! What do you  mean big? Like Thanksgiving turkey big! C-section here I come. I'm kidding...kind of. 

So what's next? I ask my poor agent that daily. In not even sure if she's an agent but that's just what I call her. Her names Danielle. I've asked her 9,456,784 questions and she's been so patient for this first timer. 

Anyways, so next I will fly to L.A. for my screening. They make sure I'm all set and a viable candidate internally and send me on my way with a handful of meds that make me extra fertile. Lucky Dane, he get s to live with crazy for 6 weeks longer than a normal pregnancy! (Maybe less if inonlybhave to take the meds for 4 weeks or something). After that I head back for the big implantation. A day of relaxing post transfer and then I'm pregnant, fingers crossed. 

So for now, that's about it. Just planning my life out, one baby step at a time.